BondWiseTherapy

Connection is a skill. Let’s practice!

Couples Therapy

When the connection feels harder than it used to

Even the strongest relationships go through seasons of distance, frustration, or misunderstanding.

Most couples don’t come to therapy because they’ve “failed” — they come because they’ve outgrown old patterns that no longer work.

You might notice yourselves saying things like:

Underneath these moments are often real, human themes I see in my work every day:

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Communication breakdowns

Communication breakdowns - talking past each other, or not talking at all.

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Unequal emotional labor

Unequal emotional labor — one partner overfunctioning while the other withdraws.

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Conflict cycles

Conflict cycles — pursuit and withdrawal, criticism and retreat, control and avoidance.

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Mismatched Needs

Mismatched needs for closeness and space.

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Family-of-origin wounds

Family-of-origin wounds replaying inside the relationship.

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Emotional or sexual disconnection

Emotional or sexual disconnection — difficulty feeling desire, safety, or play.

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Stress and burnout

Stress and burnout from demanding careers, parenting, or chronic anxiety.

Substance Use, Autonomy, or Lifestyle Differences Icon

Substance use, autonomy, or lifestyle differences

Substance use, autonomy, or lifestyle differences creating tension around trust and freedom.

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Big life transitions

Big life transitions — moving, parenting, health changes, or cultural differences that test the bond.

If you recognize yourselves in even a few of these, you’re not alone. These are the places where couples therapy begins.

How I work with couples

My approach blends Imago Relationship Therapy, the Developmental Model, and somatic and attachment-based processing.

I also integrate emotion-imagery techniques inspired by Emotional-Imagery Therapy — helping couples translate felt experiences, symbols, and body sensations into emotional awareness and repair.

I’ll start by slowing things down. Instead of arguing in circles, I’ll use structured dialogue to practice curiosity, validation, and empathy. You’ll each get a chance to feel heard — often in ways that haven’t happened before.

Together we’ll explore:
The cycle you fall into when conflict arises.
The childhood patterns that shape your triggers, defenses, and expectations.
The protective parts of you that show up to manage fear or shame.
The ways your nervous systems and bodies respond to closeness and stress.
The images and metaphors that can help you understand emotion on a deeper, intuitive level.
The skills and rituals that help you repair and reconnect.
You’ll learn how to:
Express needs without criticism or withdrawal.
Communicate clearly and respectfully, even when you disagree.
Recognize and interrupt destructive cycles before they escalate.
Balance autonomy and connection — the “me” and the “we.”
Create shared meaning and direction for your relationship.
Rebuild trust and intimacy after distance or hurt.

Therapy isn’t about deciding who’s right. It’s about understanding what’s really happening between you and learning new ways to meet each other with honesty and care.

What to Expect in my Sessions

Couples therapy with me typically unfolds in three stages:

We meet together to understand your relationship history, goals, and current stress points.

This helps me learn about your personal background, attachment style, and emotional landscape without the pressure of the partner’s presence.

Most of our time is spent in joint sessions, but I may recommend occasional individual sessions if one partner needs space for regulation, trauma processing, or deeper insight work that supports the couple’s progress.

Our sessions are structured but alive. I guide you through intentional dialogue, somatic awareness, and experiential exercises, always tuned to your emotional pace.

You can expect:

Safety and neutrality

Each partner has equal space to be seen and understood.

Somatic exploration

We pay attention to what happens in your body — breath, tone, posture, tension — as clues to unspoken emotion.

Curiosity over judgment

We explore what’s beneath reactions rather than policing them.

Active coaching

I’ll help you slow down difficult moments, rephrase reactive language, and practice repair in real time.

Homework and reflection tools

Between sessions, you’ll receive guided practices or mindful prompts to integrate new habits into daily life.

Depth and practicality

Emotional insight meets tangible behavioral change — you’ll leave with understanding and new ways of relating.

Some sessions feel tender and reflective; others are lively and skill-focused. Over time, you’ll begin to experience fewer explosions, faster repair, and more authentic connection — not as a performance, but as a felt sense of safety and trust.

Religious Trauma & Faith Transition Support

I work with clients healing from religious trauma, high-control faith systems, purity culture, and identity-based spiritual harm. My approach is grounded, trauma-informed, and LGBTQ+ affirming. Whether you’re questioning, deconstructing, or rebuilding your connection to spirituality, you don’t have to do it alone.

My Perspective

I see relationships as living systems that are always inviting us to grow.

When couples understand the emotional logic beneath their conflicts, what once felt hopeless starts to make sense.
Together we work toward a relationship that feels safe, passionate, and intentional — one that can hold two whole people.

Ready to Reconnect?
If this resonates with you, I invite you to reach out for a consultation.